Back To Basics

Our recent forays into art, literature and consumerism have distracted us a little from our core mission: to rattle the bars of our cage and hurl political fæces.

The sight of filthy anarchists rioting in Trafalgar Square brought tears of nostalgia to Suciô's eyes. For a moment, he could almost imagine that he had been transported back to the heyday of the greatest living Englishwoman.

A special message to student rioters from Baroness Thatcher

Mrs Thatcher must take some of the blame for the current disturbances. It was her government, in a cynical attempt to massage down unemployment figures, that took the first steps to "democratize higher education". This "democratization" was effected by measures such as allowing Polytechnics to style themselves as Universities and offer 3 year degrees, and by watering down examination standards.

Grant Wankshaft, undergraduate in Peace Studies at Spunkbridge University

The swelling ranks of right-on students studying bogus subjects at worthless institutions became a staple of popular satire. Comedian Alexei Sayle famously observed that the corner shop on the street where he grew up was now the "Patel School of Retail Management".

Quote from a student riot thread at <a certain image board>

So now, 25 years later, degree enrollment in the UK is up to about 45% of school leavers. Hopefully the riots will ignite some kind of debate in the UK. Do grown-up taxpayers want to continue to subsidize 3 year drinking binges for "Media Studies" students?

Before our US readers get too smug, the situation is far worse here, with 70% of high school graduates enrolling in 4 year degree courses. Suciô will have to go on a special high-fiber diet before addressing the subject in detail.