Product Review : Edible Engorgements

You're probably all familiar with Edible Arrangements - delicious edible fruit bouquets that make the perfect centerpiece on special, fruity, occasions. But, what about the rest of the year, when you're not throwing parties for fruit-flies?
That's where Edible Engorgements™ comes in. For a single low payment of $199.99 or three easy payments of $99.99, they'll send you a beautiful selection of fresh, ithyphallic vegetables each month for the next twelve months.

Edible Engorgements - the healthy alternative to Fruit-by-the-Foot™

Share your Engorgement with a friend.

Want some hot veg-on-veg action but too cheap to pay up?


Click on the link and grow your own.

Product Review : Fuxonic Key Dream Portable Keyboard

What better way to bring an end to our series of audio product reviews than to get together with the girls and a Fuxonic keyboard for a jam session?

Fuxonic Key Dream

Featuring a 76 note keyboard with Piano Style, Touch  Sensitive keys, more than 570 sounds, 180 rhythms and time settings, Reverb and Chorus Digital Effects, built-in  USB, Mic Input, audio input to MP3 player and 10 seconds of sampling, the Fuxonic Key Dream is the perfect offer for a beginner player.


The lovers of fine (if dirty) art among you will have noticed that there are a few of Beardsley's illustrations for Aristophanes' Lysistrata which we haven't used yet. Frankly, the prints in question have too high a banana count for electronics posters, so tomorrow's post will probably be fruit-related.

Product Review : Fuxonic King Audiophile Cables

A valued reader suggested that we next review some Audiophile-grade cables. Today we're proud to bring you the Fuxonic King range of cables.

Fuxonic King : Experience massive sound with our cables.

Audiophile cables are utterly beyond parody. All we can do is to point you to the write up for Nordost ODIN interconnect cables: a snip at only £12,260.00 for a 1m pair. Their specs are as impressive as the price:

• INSULATION: High purity class 1.003 extruded Fluorinated Ethylene Propylene
• CONSTRUCTION: Precision Dual Micro Mono-Filament and TSC design
• CONDUCTORS: 8 x 23 AWG extruded silver over 99.99999% OFC 
• PROPAGATION DELAY: 90% speed of light 
• OVERALL SHIELD COVERAGE: 100% Total Coverage 

OMG 90% of the speed of light! Surely electrons were never intended to propagate at such speeds. These cables could rip apart the fabric of space and time. Does the TSA know?


It's easy for us all to sneer at audiophile excesses, but the real purpose of these products is to set a benchmark for the upper bounds of stupidity. This allows Joe-Sixpack to walk into Best Buy and buy a piece of the dream: by paying a couple of hundred bucks for gold-plated HDMI cables. He can then invite some friends over and show off to them the blackness of his blacks and the silence of his silences.


If you want a piece of the dream, click the link and treat yourself to a little every-day audiophile luxury.

Product Review : Fuxonic Tube Stack Ultima

Mustapha tells me that we've had several emails from readers of yesterday's review telling us that they loved the look of the Fuxonic Tube Stack but wanted more oomph than the 11ngW of the baseline model. So today we bring you the 20ngW Ultima.

Fuxonic Tube Stack Ultima : 20ngW of throbbing power

Be blown away by the sonic coherence of the Ultima. Thanks to the unique 1st order crossover and point source radiation pattern, the Ultima covers the entire range without a shift in tone or timbre or rumbling, giving a cohesiveness to the sound that goes far beyond a frequency chart.

So far, so good. After just a day of this mind-numbing techno-babble, we've worked our way up the advertizing food chain to a name I've heard of: Bose.

Tomorrow we'll seal the deal with another bullish kit review.

P.S. If you're a puzzled audiophile who got here accidentally via a google search, just click on the Amazon link (←)and buy something expensive. Thank you.

Product Review : Fuxonic Tube Stack Speakers

As promised, today we bring you the first in a series of great holiday gifts for that special someone in your life.

What fan of dome tweeters could resist the Fuxonic Tube Stack?

"With their sleek styling and space-age technology, the Fuxonic Tube Stack series are sure to appeal to discerning listeners. The speakers feature smoothly rolled off in-room response and outstanding low end reach with subwoofer reinforcement. The designers have brilliantly traded off tight, fast, accurate bass for indistinct rumblings to give outstanding imaging performance." ....Does anybody understand this drivel?

Lovers of raw power will be more than satisfied with a rating of over 11ngW!

One naggaWatt is defined as the speaker power output required to trigger a neighbor complaint when playing "House of the Rising Sun" at 12 midnight on a Saturday night in a standard apartment building.

We'll have another great consumer electronics review in our next post.
We're sure to have an interesting time!