Deval Patrick: Ewok

Today Suciô brings his political insight to bear on the Massachusetts gubernatorial race.
Despite all the endless column inches devoted to the contest the mainstream media is missing an obvious truth:

Deval Patrick is an Ewok.

His stumpy little body and squeaky voice are clearly designed to appeal to the young and simple minded
Virile, manly men like Suciô meanwhile find the little creature repellent.
Why do we elect politicians who seem to have been designed by George Lucas and a focus group of retards?