Showing posts with label Aqua Buddha. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Aqua Buddha. Show all posts

Monday, December 20, 2010

The Five Stages of Grief

Still no answer from <the world's favorite airline>. I need closure. I need to be absolutely sure that there's no way I can make my journey by Christmas. Then I can get on with my inner journey through the Kübler-Ross model's five stages of grief.

 1. DENIAL: They can't have shut down the airport for a couple of inches of snow.

2. ANGER: They shut down the f*cking airport for a couple of inches of snow! 

3. BARGAINING: If I could just get through to the help desk, I'd take anything.

4. DEPRESSION: Two f*cking weeks of "A Charlie Brown Christmas".

5. ACCEPTANCE: I've never watched it. Maybe I'll like it... Maybe.



From "Top Ten Tips for Getting the Cheapest Airfare"
by Michael Bluejay - Award-winning writer.

#9 For U.S. to Europe, fly to London first.

Thanks a bundle Michael!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Aqua Buddha Travelog - #05

I never want to hear "the Chorus of the Hebrew Slaves" again.

Italian

English Translation
Va, pensiero, sull'ali dorate;
va, ti posa sui clivi, sui colli,
ove olezzano tepide e molli
l'aure dolci del suolo natal!

Del Giordano le rive saluta,
di Sionne le torri atterrate...
Oh mia patria sì bella e perduta!
Oh membranza sì cara e fatal!

Arpa d'or dei fatidici vati,
perché muta dal salice pendi?
Le memorie nel petto raccendi,
ci favella del tempo che fu!

O simile di Sòlima ai fati
traggi un suono di crudo lamento,
o t'ispiri il Signore un concento
che ne infonda al patire virtù.
Fly, thought, on wings of gold;
go settle upon the slopes and the hills,
where, soft and mild, the sweet airs
of our native land smell fragrant!

Greet the banks of the Jordan
and Zion's toppled towers...
Oh, my country so lovely and lost!
Oh, remembrance so dear and so fraught with despair!

Golden harp of the prophetic seers,
why dost thou hang mute upon the willow?
Rekindle our bosom's memories,
and speak of times gone by!

Mindful of the fate of Jerusalem,
either give forth an air of sad lamentation,
or else let the Lord imbue us
with fortitude to bear our sufferings!

Aqua Buddha Travelog - #04

Calling the airline we finally got past the "all our lines are busy" message in the middle of the night. Got as far as "Please hold: an operator will be with you in four...hundred...sixty...four minutes".

Why would an airline model its call center on Dante's Purgatory?


The world's favorite airline.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Aqua Buddha Travelog - #03

WTF!? my flight was cancelled: "wrong kind of snow at Heathrow". Next available flight's not 'till Christmas Day. Nah. Should have booked with an airline who can handle a bit of snow.

Аэрофлот

So now I'm stuck here in the cold with an empty fridge. And worse yet, an empty wine-rack.

Our Research Department.

First stop's the wine merchant, then call in a pizza strike. And maybe pick up a sun-lamp.

Aqua Buddha Travelog - #02

This crew's the best for in-flight safety

Friday, December 17, 2010

Aqua Buddha Travelog - #01

We'll be on the road for the next couple of weeks - posting a card whenever we get internet access.

 Communing with the Aqua Buddha.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Trifecta

Suciô has had enough of the cold weather. We'll be spending the next couple of weeks communing with the Aqua Buddha in a land of cheap red wine and dial-up internet access. We'll try to send a postcard from each stop along the way.

Cat, bong & loli - a /b/ trifecta.


I think I'm going to be sick

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Communing With The Aqua Buddha


Suciô will be blogging less frequently over the next two weeks as he will be in the Old Country, communing with the Aqua Buddha.